Spring Break
Bond's best moments, biggest blunders, sexiest sirens, top songs
Kip Mooney
Issue date: 11/14/08 Section: OPINION
Cubby Broccoli's film adaptations of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels have spanned four decades and 22 films. With "Quantum of Solace" out today, here's a look a 007's most awe-inspiring and preposterous moments of the seminal spy franchise.
5. Daniel Craig insults Mads Mikkelsen ("Casino Royale")
Not the first time a villain had captured and tortured 007, but Craig cemented himself as the toughest and grittiest agent, laughing at LeChiffre's painful method, which involved getting whipped repeatedly in the most sensitive of places.
4. Agent 006 fakes own death, starts evil organization ("GoldenEye")
BFFs no longer: Sean Bean's betrayal of the entire organization stands as one of the most evil acts in the Bond universe, but it made for a top-notch movie and just the right direction to take the franchise into the '90s.
3. Diana Rigg proves herself as more than a sex object ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service")
No love interest before or since could establish herself as something more than a lusty femme fatale or faithful, vapid sheetmate. It's a real shame the films always portrayed women as the weaker sex.
2. James Bond dies ("From Russia with Love")
In the opening moments of the sophomore effort, a SPECTRE assassin strangles Bond, but it's all revealed as a training exercise for the evil organization.
1. Gert Fröbe doesn't play nice ("Goldfinger")
"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die."
This terrific exchange sums up all the great moments in the franchise history, the apex of snappy dialogue, plot twists, fantastic action and suspense.
5. Underwater car ("The Spy Who Loved Me")/Invisible car ("Die Another Day")
Until "Casino Royale," everyone knew Bond's gadgets, but these tricked-out vehicles, a Lotus and an Aston Martin, respectively, served no purpose. They didn't even have a "wow" factor, but more of a "really, guys?" factor.
4. Jet pack escape ("Thunderball")
Unfortunately, not even Sean Connery himself could make this look cool. A jet pack should be the most awesome means of transportation.
3. Jaws falls in love ("Moonraker")
A ridiculous villain to begin with, his absurd romance with a mousy girl who turned him good pushed this too-long, outer space epic past the limits of plausibility.
2. Denise Richards plays a nuclear physicist ("The World is Not Enough")
Nothing against her - she's perfect eye candy - but could anyone possibly buy her as Dr. Christmas Jones, who got a degree in one of the hardest fields known to man? It's ludicrous, even for a Bond picture.
1. Honor Blackman makes her appearance ("Goldfinger")
Sure, Bond girls have had bad names before (Xenia Onatopp and Holly Goodhead spring to mind), but Pussy Galore has to take the cake. Must be dreaming indeed.
5. Sophie Marceau ("The World is Not Enough")
Arguably the series' best femme fatale, this heiress always had the upper hand on 007, no pun intended.
4. Halle Berry ("Die Another Day")
Though her spin-off never materialized, Berry, hot off her Oscar win for "Monster's Ball," had some fun as a tough National Security Agent investigating on her own.
3. Eva Green ("Casino Royale")
More than just a pretty face, Green's Vesper Lynd had plenty of moral conundrums to face in this relaunch. A Bond girl with brains AND beauty.
2. Ursula Andress ("Dr. No")
Her emergence from the water remains the ultimate Bond girl entrance. No other woman has commanded such attention.
1. Diana Rigg ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service")
Ms. Emma Peel herself tops the list because in this film, a Bond girl did more than just throw herself at 007. Bond finally met his match.
5. Carly Simon - "Nobody Does it Better" ("The Spy Who Loved Me")
The only time a love song worked for Bond. Her voice sells the song, and it remains the only song from the franchise that works separate from the film.
4. Duran Duran - "A View to a Kill"
Loving this song depends on your affinity for Simon LeBon and the Taylor brothers, but their title track from this mid-'80s disaster has just the right amount of camp.
3. Louis Armstrong - "We Have All the Time in the World" ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service")
Few performers have as much class as Louis Armstrong, and that's one of the reasons this track has endured. Other artists, advertisers and even wedding bands have used this song (from arguably the best Bond movie) for decades.
2. Shirley Bassey - "Diamonds are Forever"
There's a reason she's the only person to record more than one theme. Any of the others ("Goldfinger" or "Moonraker") could take this spot. But this one proved so good, even Kanye West felt it deserving enough to sample.
1. Paul McCartney & Wings - "Live and Let Die"
Going with a Beatle to write a theme song should always prove a safe bet, and it does here. One of the few Bond songs to have chart success in its own right.
Sean Connery: 43 percent
Daniel Craig: 27 percent
George Lazenby: 14 percent
Roger Moore: 8 percent
Pierce Brosnan: 7 percent
Timothy Dalton: 2 percent
Top 5 Best Bond Moments
5. Daniel Craig insults Mads Mikkelsen ("Casino Royale")
Not the first time a villain had captured and tortured 007, but Craig cemented himself as the toughest and grittiest agent, laughing at LeChiffre's painful method, which involved getting whipped repeatedly in the most sensitive of places.
4. Agent 006 fakes own death, starts evil organization ("GoldenEye")
BFFs no longer: Sean Bean's betrayal of the entire organization stands as one of the most evil acts in the Bond universe, but it made for a top-notch movie and just the right direction to take the franchise into the '90s.
3. Diana Rigg proves herself as more than a sex object ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service")
No love interest before or since could establish herself as something more than a lusty femme fatale or faithful, vapid sheetmate. It's a real shame the films always portrayed women as the weaker sex.
2. James Bond dies ("From Russia with Love")
In the opening moments of the sophomore effort, a SPECTRE assassin strangles Bond, but it's all revealed as a training exercise for the evil organization.
1. Gert Fröbe doesn't play nice ("Goldfinger")
"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die."
This terrific exchange sums up all the great moments in the franchise history, the apex of snappy dialogue, plot twists, fantastic action and suspense.
Top 5 Worst Bond Moments
5. Underwater car ("The Spy Who Loved Me")/Invisible car ("Die Another Day")
Until "Casino Royale," everyone knew Bond's gadgets, but these tricked-out vehicles, a Lotus and an Aston Martin, respectively, served no purpose. They didn't even have a "wow" factor, but more of a "really, guys?" factor.
4. Jet pack escape ("Thunderball")
Unfortunately, not even Sean Connery himself could make this look cool. A jet pack should be the most awesome means of transportation.
3. Jaws falls in love ("Moonraker")
A ridiculous villain to begin with, his absurd romance with a mousy girl who turned him good pushed this too-long, outer space epic past the limits of plausibility.
2. Denise Richards plays a nuclear physicist ("The World is Not Enough")
Nothing against her - she's perfect eye candy - but could anyone possibly buy her as Dr. Christmas Jones, who got a degree in one of the hardest fields known to man? It's ludicrous, even for a Bond picture.
1. Honor Blackman makes her appearance ("Goldfinger")
Sure, Bond girls have had bad names before (Xenia Onatopp and Holly Goodhead spring to mind), but Pussy Galore has to take the cake. Must be dreaming indeed.
Top 5 Best Bond Girls:
5. Sophie Marceau ("The World is Not Enough")
Arguably the series' best femme fatale, this heiress always had the upper hand on 007, no pun intended.
4. Halle Berry ("Die Another Day")
Though her spin-off never materialized, Berry, hot off her Oscar win for "Monster's Ball," had some fun as a tough National Security Agent investigating on her own.
3. Eva Green ("Casino Royale")
More than just a pretty face, Green's Vesper Lynd had plenty of moral conundrums to face in this relaunch. A Bond girl with brains AND beauty.
2. Ursula Andress ("Dr. No")
Her emergence from the water remains the ultimate Bond girl entrance. No other woman has commanded such attention.
1. Diana Rigg ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service")
Ms. Emma Peel herself tops the list because in this film, a Bond girl did more than just throw herself at 007. Bond finally met his match.
Top 5 Best Bond Songs
5. Carly Simon - "Nobody Does it Better" ("The Spy Who Loved Me")
The only time a love song worked for Bond. Her voice sells the song, and it remains the only song from the franchise that works separate from the film.
4. Duran Duran - "A View to a Kill"
Loving this song depends on your affinity for Simon LeBon and the Taylor brothers, but their title track from this mid-'80s disaster has just the right amount of camp.
3. Louis Armstrong - "We Have All the Time in the World" ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service")
Few performers have as much class as Louis Armstrong, and that's one of the reasons this track has endured. Other artists, advertisers and even wedding bands have used this song (from arguably the best Bond movie) for decades.
2. Shirley Bassey - "Diamonds are Forever"
There's a reason she's the only person to record more than one theme. Any of the others ("Goldfinger" or "Moonraker") could take this spot. But this one proved so good, even Kanye West felt it deserving enough to sample.
1. Paul McCartney & Wings - "Live and Let Die"
Going with a Beatle to write a theme song should always prove a safe bet, and it does here. One of the few Bond songs to have chart success in its own right.
Who's the best Bond of all time?
Sean Connery: 43 percent
Daniel Craig: 27 percent
George Lazenby: 14 percent
Roger Moore: 8 percent
Pierce Brosnan: 7 percent
Timothy Dalton: 2 percent
Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 8
BC
posted 11/14/08 @ 7:48 AM CST
There is an honest effort here, and I can appreciate that. Diana Rigg is often forgotten in the list of great Bond Girls, but she deserves the top spot, if only for the fact that she even got to marry Bond at the end of OHMSS. (Continued…)
Andy
posted 11/14/08 @ 4:55 PM CST
Leave it to an awesome university like UNT to put George Lazenby at No. 3. Way to go! :)
Business Opportunities
posted 11/16/08 @ 7:27 AM CST
I think that Roger Moore was in more of them than any other Bond. Even if not, Moore was my favorite Bond. He always had these funny things to say. Also he did not take himself too seriously. (Continued…)
moniqa paullet
posted 11/18/08 @ 11:29 AM CST
Re: parkour
I enjoy a ridiculous chase scene as much as the next person, but this was nothing short of outright RIDONCULOUS and has no place on a "best" list. (Continued…)
maia cudhea
posted 11/25/08 @ 6:10 PM CST
am i the only one who was INCREDIBLY disturbed by the cover art that ran with this feature? a sexually suggestive silhouette of a woman with target superimposed on her body? no one at the Daily thought "hm, maybe these aren't the kinds of images of women that we want to feature on our cover?"
Really?
Post a Comment